Summary
Trigger warning: Sexual assault, self-harm, suicidal ideation
Suicide prevention hotline: call 800-273-8255.
Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741.
GUEST BIO
Auslin is a singer-songwriter from Green Bay, WI. Shes been able to sing and songwrite for independent producers and artists all online and all from home. She’s well versed in writing pop, rnb, and edm. With her being a single mom to two boys, working a full time job, making time to get a workout in, and working on music, you’d wonder how she gets it all done. The main thought that keeps her going is if she gives up what she loves to do then she’s teaching her kids to give up on theirs and that is not gonna happen.
DEFINITIONS:
Intergenerational trauma – occurs when the effects of trauma are passed down between generations. This can occur if a parent experienced abuse as a child or Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), and the cycle of trauma and abuse impacts their parenting. Intergenerational trauma can also be the result of oppression, including racial trauma or other systemic oppression. The effects of intergenerational trauma have been documented in descendants of refugees, residential schools, and Holocaust survivors, demonstrating that this type of trauma continues to impact populations for generations after a collective traumatic event has occurred.
Hazing – an initiation process involving harassment.Hazing, initiation, bastardisation, ragging or deposition refers to any activity expected of someone in joining or participating in a group that humiliates, degrades, abuses, or endangers them regardless of a person’s willingness to participate.
“one day i’ll own this boot” – refers to a meme which we’ve linked in the show notes. This refers to an internalized oppression mentality where an oppressed person copes with abuse and oppression by telling themselves that one day, they will be in the position of power where they can then abuse and oppress others.
TAKEAWAYS:
- Childhood trauma leads to people keeping their guard up and sometimes coming off as distant, or “bitchy”, as AUSLIN put it. This is a defense mechanism they have to adopt to protect themselves. So next time you meet someone who comes off this way, consider the possibility that they might have a very good reason for it, and be kind.
- While being on the defensive helps you survive in a hostile environment, it can also make it difficult to connect with people, including your own kids. AUSLIN makes conscious efforts to not let her past trauma affect her relationship with her kids and it’s a fight she shows up to every single day.
- Intergenerational trauma can lead to abuse and unhealthy relationships between parents and their kids. It takes hard work to distance ourselves from our culture enough to break unhealthy cycles, and to be intentional about which part of our upbringing to preserve, and which ones to let go of in order to set realistic and fair boundaries for ourselves and the next generation.
- In many cultures, including Asian cultures, gender roles are still quite rigid and much more demanding on women; women are taught to be self-effacing, to tend to everyone else’s physical and emotional needs before their own. These unhealthy expectations are passed down from generation to generation as “part of the culture”. But there is so much more to our cultures than these sexist beliefs, and letting go of them does not equate letting go of our culture.
- Sometimes, there is a tendency for minority groups to develop judgmental attitudes about who is “Asian enough”. Diaspora experiences are varied and just because someone doesn’t speak the language doesn’t make them any less Asian. Rather than gatekeeping, it would be a lot more productive to be inclusive and invite everyone to participate in the culture.
- The smallest acts of kindness can make a world of difference. This is especially true when someone is at their most vulnerable. When the old lady gave AUSLIN a small token of encouragement in her darkest hour, it was a small gesture but it gave her hope and made a huge impact.
- You don’t have to know everything before giving yourself permission to practice. Everybody starts somewhere and learning never stops. So it’s okay to call yourself a producer if you produce but aren’t great at it yet. Mediocre producers are still producers.
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